A ‘Bucket List’ for the UA senior

       
In a desperate attempt to ease the focus off of our impending graduation, my roommates and I recently compiled a list of things we want to do before that fateful day in May — we fondly refer to it as our “Graduation Bucket List.”

   OK, so graduating college isn’t exactly the equivalent of kicking the bucket, but sometimes it can feel that way. While looking at our ambitious assemblage of goals, it made me think about the things that every UAlbany student should check off their list before finding themselves face-to-face with that diploma.

   Have brunch served by Dancing Dave: Once a famed fixture in the Colonial Quad dining hall, this dancing/cooking double-threat can now be found serving starved students on Dutch Quad. Regardless of where you reside, it is well worth the trek for what will inevitably become brunch and a show. Emeril’s “BAM!” seems lackluster compared to Dancing Dave’s passionate cries of “BAH!” each time he flings a handful of toppings onto the scorching stove. Go ahead and try to be in a bad mood after watching him fold over your finished omelet with the careful precision of a heart surgeon and then lovingly present it to you — it’s just not possible.

   Go for a night swim in the fountain: Is this allowed? I’m not exactly sure. But are you really going to spend four years of your life at a school that boasts a bounty of fountains and never wade through the tainted waters after dark? Recently, I witnessed a guy on ice-skates doing late-night laps around the main fountain while it was frozen over, so I kind of get the impression that anything goes in there.

   Attend a party with a creative theme: The chance to throw together a crazy costume can make it seem like Halloween all over again. But I don’t mean something cliché, like a toga party or even a Jersey Shore-inspired bash. No, I’m talking about the kind that requires a little more thought than just applying a spray-tan and a Bumpit. Personally, I’ve always wanted to attend something more imaginative, like an “Anything But Clothes” party, but not so that I can have an excuse to venture out in public sporting just a mini-dress of metallic wrapping paper and some provocatively placed bows. I would more likely be the girl to go all out and papier-mâché a full pair of pants with a matching shirt, completely neglecting the probability that the party was deliberately thrown by a bunch of guys in order to get half-dressed girls at their apartment. But if anyone is hosting one, feel free to send an invite over my way and I’ll pick up some papier-mâché mix.

   Do the ‘Kegs and Eggs’ thing at least once: My personal theory is that the only reason anyone would have the audacity to say that they enjoyed Kegs and Eggs was because they have absolutely no recollection of the occasion, and they equate blacking out with an overload of fun and pleasure. Try to explain this celebration to someone who isn’t in the know and you will realize that what you are describing sounds downright miserable. But still, it has long been an unofficial UAlbany tradition, and let’s be honest -- there will be no time after college that participating in an event like this will be acceptable. At the very least, it will make for a good story someday.

   Start the ‘UA — U Know!’ chant in a populated area: We all learned this spirited mantra once upon a time during summer orientation, where we reluctantly echoed in excess. Although it may have seemed cheesy at the time, this is actually like the “slow clap” of UAlbany — when properly executed it will be met with an overwhelming response. But if you miscalculate the situation, it will undoubtedly end in shameful snickers and judgmental glares, so use caution.

   Take a road trip to another SUNY school: You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone — or until you’ve gone to another school for the weekend. There are some college towns where conditions are downright inhumane: people are unfriendly, the bars all close at 2 a.m., and girls aren’t openly welcomed at house parties. You may feel like an unwanted visitor from a foreign country. (Note: This is not the time to attempt the “UA — U Know!” chant. Doing so will only result in further alienation.) Although it is fun to check out other schools and view college life from a different perspective, your weekend getaway will probably provoke you to get down on all fours and kiss the cold concrete of UAlbany’s campus upon your return.

   Take the ‘drunk bus’ downtown: If you limit yourself to only taking cabs downtown, you are missing out on the essence of UAlbany. On Friday and Saturday nights during prime riding hours, sloppy students push and pack onto the bus to head downtown for the night. The bus is reliably filled beyond capacity, forcing riders to sacrifice their personal space and reach a new level of comfort with complete strangers.

   It’s a 20-minute trip in which some real bonds are formed. OK, you probably won’t be friends for very long, but you can at least invite them to join you in the morning when you go get brunch with Dancing Dave.